一只眼睛失明后，我走路总是看地面，不敢抬起头，生怕被人嘲笑。有些时候人们会问我一些尴尬的问题，令我十分伤心，和小伙伴们做游戏时我也总扮演“妖怪”，我知道我是别人眼中的异类。
每当这种时候，妈妈总对我说：“高高昂起你的头来。”这句话一度成为我的精神支柱。我慢慢敢抬起头来走路了，而且我发现周围有很多人其实很喜欢我。我逐渐克服了心理障碍。妈妈的爱和鼓励给了我信心和力量。
Iwasfifteenmonthsold,ahappycarefreekiduntilthedayIfell.Itwasabadfall.Ilandedonaglassrabbitwhichcutmyeyebadlyenoughtoblindit.Tryingtosavetheeye,thedoctorsstitchedtheeyeballtogetherwhereitwascut,leavingabiguglyscarinthemiddleofmyeye.Theattemptfailed,butmymama,inallofherwisdom,foundadoctorwhoknewthatiftheeyewereremovedentirely,myfacewouldgrowupbadlydistorted,somyscarred,sightless,cloudyandgrayeyelivedonwithme.AndasIgrew,thissightlesseyeinsomanywayscontrolledme.
Iwalkedwithmyfacelookingatthefloorsopeoplewouldnotseetheuglyme.Sometimespeople,evenstrangers,askedmeembarrassingquestionsormadehurtfulremarks.Whenthekidsplayedgames,Iwasalwaysthe“monster.”Igrewupimaginingthateveryonelookedatmewithdisdain,asifmyappearanceweremyfault.IalwaysfeltlikeIwasafreak.
Yetmamawouldsaytome,ateveryturn,“Holdyourheaduphighandfacetheworld.”ItbecamealitanythatIreliedon.ShehadstartedwhenIwasyoung.Shewouldholdmeinherarmsandstrokemyhairandsay,“Ifyouholdyourheaduphigh,itwillbeokay,andpeoplewillseeyourbeautifulsoul.”ShecontinuedthismessagewheneverIwantedtohide.
Thosewordshavemeantdifferentthingstomeovertheyears.Asalittlechild,IthoughtMamameant,“Becarefuloryouwillfalldownorbumpintosomethingbecauseyouarenotlooking.”Asanadolescent,eventhoughItendedtolookdowntohidemyshame,IfoundthatsometimeswhenIheldmyheaduphighandletpeopleknowme,theylikedme.Mymama?swordshelpedmebegintorealizethatbylettingpeoplelookatmyface,Iletthemrecognizetheintelligenceandbeautybehindbotheyeseveniftheycouldn?tseeitonthesurface.
InhighschoolIwassuccessfulbothacademicallyandsocially.Iwasevenelectedclasspresident,butontheinsideIstillfeltlikeafreak.AllIreallywantedwastolooklikeeveryoneelse.Whenthingsgotreallybad,Iwouldcrytomymamaandshewouldlookatmewithlovingeyesandsay,“Holdyourheaduphighandfacetheworld.Letthemseethebeautythatisinside.”
WhenImetthemanwhobecamemypartnerforlife,welookedeachotherstraightintheeye,andhetoldmeIwasbeautifulinsideandout.Hemeantit.Mymama?sloveandencouragementwerethesparkthatgavemetheconfidencetoovercomemyowndoubt.Ihadfacedadversity,encounteredmyproblemsheadon,andlearnednotonlytoappreciatemyselfbuttohavedeepcompassionforothers.
“Holdyourheaduphigh,”hasbeenheardmanytimesinmyhome.Eachofmychildrenhasfeltitsinvitation.Thegiftmymamagavemelivesoninanothergeneration.
云南谭晶晶供稿